Early last spring my wife and I were taken aback when we began finding malodorous mounds of dog poop in our front yard. The problem was originally called to our attention by our oldest child, who was six at the time. He was out kicking his soccer ball when he noticed a malodorous brown object on our front law. It looked like canine feces, but since we like to think well of our neighbors I immediately began looking for other possible sources of the offensive land mine. Was our neighborhood being plagued by an incontinent hobo? Perhaps a deer or a large raccoon had eaten something that had alleviated his week-long constipation problem. Maybe an Appalachian Trail hiker had gotten hopelessly lost and in delirious desperation had squatted on our lawn the previous evening. However, when I found a fresh brown pile the very next morning while getting the newspaper I knew that someone’s uncurbed mutt was marking our territory as its.
Most of the families on our block own dogs, but aside from our next-door neighbor I have never seen anyone walking their family pet while carrying the sort of plastic bag one usually cleans up fecal material with. I felt like I was playing a real-life game of “Clue.” I already knew the location (the lawn) and the weapon (vile dog turds). All that was left to deduce was the identity of the perpetrator(s).
A week later I was driving slowly up our street when I saw a neighbor out walking her dog. She smiled and waved at me with the hand that wasn’t holding a long leash. However, what caught my attention was that at that precise moment her canine companion was squatting over a lawn that was neither hers nor mine. Seconds later they sauntered off, leaving a steaming brown mass behind!
Since we haven’t been pet owners recently, my wife and I wondered if the protocol regarding the disposal of pet waste has changed. However, when I asked various friends and co-workers who own dogs if it was no longer considered part of a pet owner’s responsibility to clean up his or her pooch’s waste, the response was vehement and unanimous. According to the dog walkers I polled (who ranged from teenagers to octogenarians), failing to clean up after one’s hound is, among other things, “inconsiderate,” “weak,” “lame,” “selfish,” “not right,” “disrespectful,” “inexcusable,” and “a sure sign of a sociopath.” One of my co-workers suggested that whoever owns the cur that is pooping in our yard must be an elitist, since the culprit apparently believes that his or her dog’s excrement doesn’t stink.
All six members of our family love dogs, but our collective ardor does not go so far as wishing to clean up their waste products. So to the person(s) who for whatever reason doesn’t clean up after the animal that is leaving his pungent regards where my children and their friends like to play, now hear this: once Fido has done his business, it becomes your business!
Andy YoungReturn to main page
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