George W. Bush reassuring us that things are getting better in Iraq thanks to his troop surge is like a torch-brandishing pyromaniac standing in front of a flaming building telling us that the situation is improving because he’s just put out the fire in the mailbox with a water pistol.
That Mr. Bush’s final State of the Union message was as fraught with misleading statements, half-truths, and outright inaccuracies as his previous seven were is no more surprising than learning that the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west. Neither candor nor competence should be expected of a man who, after surrounding himself with a team of arrogant, incompetent, and sycophantic advisors, botched the execution of a war that never should have been waged in the first place. No one should have been stunned that his administration’s delayed reaction to the New Orleans disaster was more about exploiting photo ops than it was about helping the victims, or that his pledge to remove anyone in his administration connected with the outing of CIA agent was followed by the commutation of the prison term I. Lewis Libby, the vice-president’s chief of staff, was handed after he had been convicted of lying about the affair.
It’s possible that the president’s last completely truthful public utterings were his comments to Robert Draper, the author of Dead Certain, an account of the Bush presidency. When asked what he planned on doing after leaving office in January 2009, Mr. Bush replied, "I'll give some speeches, just to replenish the ol' coffers." He further speculated, "I don't know what my dad gets - it's more than 50-75 thousand dollars a speech,” and "(Bill) Clinton's making a lot of money.” That a man whose personal worth (most of which he inherited) has been estimated at upwards of 20 million dollars is that concerned with future personal financial gain at this time provides further insight into the type of character Mr. Bush possesses.
As his unfortunate tenure in the White House mercifully winds down there is much with which the soon-to-be 34th former president of the United States needs to be concerned. And while the Iraq quagmire, the tanking economy, and the growing number of scandals involving his incompetent and disingenuous underlings are all undoubtedly of great concern, judging by his comments to Mr. Draper it would appear the issue that is most likely atop the president’s list is that in just under a year he himself is going to be unemployed.
Mr. Bush will be a relatively youthful 62 when he leaves office, and given the amount of time he spends working out and/or riding his bike he should be in good health when January 20, 2009 arrives. However, after he dictates his memoirs to a right-thinking ghostwriter he’ll likely be looking for something to do between golf dates. A logical next step for someone with eight years experience as nominal head of the free world might be a position as a CEO. However, given Mr. Bush’s struggles with public articulation, his demonstrated difficulty with making truthful statements, his transformation of a government with a balanced budget into one with a record-shattering debt, and his wrongheaded and costly mismanagement of a deadly and unnecessary conflict he and his cronies created, it seems unlikely that representatives from any major corporations will be beating a path to his door. Fortunately it appears that another position, one that is a perfect fit for him, will be available for the taking.
America is currently suffering from a desperate shortage of qualified televangelists. Jerry Falwell left us last year. Pat Robertson’s repeated bizarre statements have made him an embarrassment. Billy Graham is in his dotage, as is Oral Roberts. Jimmy Swaggart, Jesse Jackson, and Ted Haggard have each had difficulties with infidelity, Sun Myung Moon has been plagued by questionable financial dealings, and Jim Bakker is permanently sidelined due to both of the above-mentioned frailties.
Even Mr. Bush’s severest critics will admit he has been an unqualified success at fundraising, which coincidentally is the major requirement for a successful televangelist. Another mitigating factor regarding this potential change of vocation for Mr. Bush, a self-declared Compassionate Conservative whose track record shows that he abhors criticism and rarely considers opinions other than his own: there can be no arguing about what the truth is when one is preaching to the choir directly from the good book. As a televangelist Mr. Bush wouldn’t have to quibble over the meaning of words and phrases like “surge,” “torture,” or “Mission Accomplished” anymore. Also, as a preacher he’d be selling something that he arguably has at least some grasp of, which one gets the distinct feeling is not always the case in his current situation.
Consider this: after his presidential service ended, the notoriously taciturn “Silent Cal” Coolidge spent a year as a syndicated newspaper columnist. Now does the thought of George W. Bush spreading the gospel over the air waves on a fulltime basis seem implausible?
Andy YoungReturn to main page
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