A Pen Pal with a Gift for Irony

Three years ago I registered to vote with one of America’s two major political parties. That was a radical step for me, because although I’ve never missed a federal, state, or local election since I became eligible to vote more than four decades ago, I had previously maintained independent voting status. But in the spring of 2020 a narcissistic blowhard who had clearly demonstrated his incompetence and lack of integrity was running for president, so I decided it was my duty as a responsible citizen to register with his party in order to vote against him in the primary. My write-in ballot for one of his opponents didn’t help; he won our party’s nomination, although thankfully lost the general election.

But my status as a newly-minted party member has paid some dividends, the most valuable of which is I regularly get letters, each of which I respond to, from my new pen pal Ronna McDaniel, the chairwoman of the Republican National Committee.

I’ve never met Ms. McDaniel personally. But I know she likes and respects me, because periodically she sends me, along with a single-spaced four-page letter outlining the agenda she and her colleagues on the RNC are planning, a five- section survey asking for my personal input regarding how we Republicans can improve America.

Section One of the most recent RNC survey asks about my political leanings, my age, where I get my news, and who I’d like to see as our party’s presidential nominee in 2024. That last part is tough, since I really don’t have a favorite candidate, although the list of Republican hopefuls I’d never vote for under any circumstances is lengthy.

Oddly, one of the few principled Republicans on the national scene is Ms. McDaniel’s uncle, Mitt Romney, but he’s not seeking the presidency.

A question in Section Two (“General Issues”) reads, “Do you approve or disapprove of the Democrats’ agenda to raise taxes, drastically increase federal spending, keep our borders open to all illegal immigrants, decrease military spending, defund police, push dangerous abortion policies, pack the Supreme Court, make Washington D.C. a state, and abolish the electoral college?” This is an example of why I’m so grateful to be on the RNC’s mailing list, because were it not for this letter I’d never have known the Democrats had pledged to do all those counterproductive, un-American things.

Section Three (“Domestic Issues”) states, “The Democrats' fixation on ‘climate change’ has led to costly regulations that are negatively affecting our nation’s economy across-the-board,” then asks, “Do you think climate change is a major threat to our nation?”

Then Ms. McDaniel cuts to the chase. The lone question in the letter’s final section reads, “Can the Republican National Committee count on your help to strengthen our Party as we prepare for the all-important 2024 presidential election?” She then thoughtfully provides a space where I can indicate exactly how much money I’d like to contribute to the cause.

I can’t help thinking that Ronna McDaniel is a fan of irony.

It’s ironic she alludes to the Democrats wanting to pack the Supreme Court, given her own party’s recent machinations in that area.

I’m also fairly sure she’s smart enough to know that national Democrats aren’t really looking to defund the police, encourage illegal immigration, or take away anyone’s second amendment rights. That makes it even more ironic to suggest Democrats and their co-conspirators are “indoctrinating” the American people, since the push-poll-disguised-as-a-survey she’s been sending to people like me suggest it is she and the RNC attempting to do the indoctrinating.

But the biggest irony of all is that the RNC stands to gain if Ronna McDaniel and her climate-change-denying friends are wrong. That’s because I’m a man of my word, and when I wrote back to her I promised I’d contribute to the Republican National Committee as soon as Hell freezes over.

Andy Young
September 20, 2023

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